Finding a balance

Spoiler, I haven’t. Not yet anyway. But I’m working on it.

I never thought that moving the business from being online to bricks and mortar would be easy, but I have to say, it’s harder than I ever imagined. Just in terms of the logistics!. Most of my stock is still at home. Felt silly to move it whilst I was spraying a ceiling gold. I love the new ceiling, but there is gold on everything (water based and scrubs off, and yes, I did use a dust sheet or five… just not entirely efficiently. Creativity I do well. Preparation… well I’m keen to get on and get creative!).

On Friday I had a bit of a moment. After a day decorating in the shop I had to come home and pack up orders. We then went to a friends for a BBQ. We were an hour late. I drank all the wine. (It was good wine), and got home at 2am. So far, so letting my hair down. But me and Saturday had plans, and that involved a 9am start spraying the ceiling gold. Needless to say, that was not a fun morning. At all.

I came home exhausted and still hungover. And I realised that I cannot keep up this momentum without some serious organisation. And by that, I mean leaving some of my week for me and my family.

From now on Sundays are my day of rest. They’ll be no church (sorry mum), but there will also be no Instagram post or stories. There will be no ‘popping into’ the stock room to sort stuff out. There will be no dropping off orders, and there will be no replying to emails. Six days of the week is enough for all of that.

There will of course be washing to do (always…), dogs to walk, homework to help with, but more importantly there will be time carved out for family life, and all that entails. I’m also adamant that I MUST make time for exercise (for me that’s hot yoga, only one I’ve found I consistently love and improve at). Three a week. Mind and me time.

I’ve also taken the decision to stop drinking until the shop is ready to open. I don’t drink excessively, but I have always enjoyed pouring a glass of wine after a long busy day. Every day is long and busy at the moment, and so those glasses of wine add up. Not only do they add up. They also make me sleep worse. And having painted one ceiling I still have another to go. And I’m not doing that whilst being fuzzy of head. It’s another way for me to focus on getting the shop ready, and - most importantly - not run myself into the ground before I even open.

There is often an assumption that running a business is fun, especially when it’s something like gift or homewares. It can be fun. But all businesses are exceptionally hard work, involve compromise, sacrifice and sleepless nights. They are worth it. You can never really understand just how much of ‘you’ they will take up. It’s all of it. And then a bit more on top. But creating something that you truly believe in, love doing, and feel passionate about is worth it. It is however important to remember why you’re doing it. I’m doing it because working matters to me. I’m doing it because I want to be a role model to my daughters and show them you can have your own business. I’m doing it because I fear I’m unemployable(!) so used am I to doing things my way without needing to ask permission. I’m doing it because I’m really passionate about small business and retail, and really want to bring something unique to Jersey. But above all I’m doing it for me and my family. This phase of business growth is selfish. It’s consuming, and my poor (long suffering) kids and husband are finding themselves cooking more than ever, doing the weekly food shop, and being bored to tears about my tales of customs woe (commodity codes…!). However, in a few weeks, they’ll be that moment, when the shop is open, it’s all working, and I go home not to a hall full of boxes ‘for work’, but to my home! Not my office. And sometimes, however hard, that’s worth working hard for.