Lockdown.... #1
How are you? No really, how are you? I’m imagining (but not transferring the current mush in my head that is my thoughts) you’re possible not doing brilliantly. Because let’s be honest - this is not normal. This is really quite far from normal. And the good news is that (apparently) it’s never going to feel normal. Phew.
As someone born in the 1980s (just), I’ve not had to go through anything terribly difficult that’s totally out of my control before. That’s not to say that there haven’t been really tough things happen in my life - even as a child you pick up on things like a redundancy which happened to my Dad in the late ‘80s. My Dad is no longer with us… I always feel a bit strange writing that we ‘lost’ my Dad, not only does it sound as though I irresponsibly left him on a train or bench somewhere and forgot to go back for him (which is obviously not the case), but it rather glosses over the fact that we didn’t lose him… he died. He’s very much still with us in all the other ways, and every time I find myself studying the rows of wine in the supermarket, I remember him in France, choosing which he’d buy. I have other non-alcohol related memories of him too, though I’ll be honest, wine is a common thread.
But here we are, in 2020, and for the first time, we’re actually being told what to do. Not in a ‘you should probably think about a pension’ sort of way, or a ‘your gums would be in better nick if you really did floss daily like you are pretending that you do’, but in a ‘do this or bad stuff will happen’ way. And that’s hugely unsettling. It’s a horrible, worrying time. It’s a time when we turn to wine, or to gin, or to food, or - in this instance possibly - loo roll for comfort. We want to fix on something that will give us stability. I’ve been doing maths with the ten-year-old, and she’s starting to look at algebra (oh dear God help us), and suddenly, that’s feeling like the easy thing.
So how do you stay calm in all of this? Well first off, accept that you won’t. Accept that because you are distant from many of the people you love a lot, it’s going to feel horrible and helpless, and that queuing on the Morrisons website (currently 150000 in the queue, and no, that’s not one zero too many), to ensure that my Mum has food delivered as she’s in the age group told to isolate, does not help you feel any more in control. But you keep on keeping on.
1) If you can (and if you still have a stable income) support small and creative businesses. I’m not touting for business, because that would make me a bit of a dick, but I am shopping small myself where I can. I’m getting food from local Fishermen, I’m not buying stuff online from large warehouses, but small businesses (seeds for example… such a cliché). I’m following the #artistsupportpledge and being drawn into, and shown, some amazing pieces of artwork from incredibly talented people, all of whom are taking 1/5 of the money they take and paying it forward. It’s not only filling my feed with beautiful art; it’s giving me a reason to smile.
2) Fill your feed(s) with things that make you smile. The news is doom and gloom (with the occasional glimmer of hope or good news story, but they feel few and far between relatively), and so don’t be afraid to mute or unfollow anything that brings you down. Find pictures of flowers and florists (they always look lovely). Follow animal accounts. Find good stuff that makes you feel good. Stop following people that make you feel bad. This is probably a good lesson for life, but somehow, it’s easier to act on it now.
3) Be kind. Smile at people (from a distance, obvs!), say hello to strangers.
4) Be responsible. Cross over the road to leave the 2m. Walk single file. Don’t queue too closely to someone.
5) Exercise. Whether it’s a walk, an online yoga tutorial, a HIIT session, or something else, keeping active has never been more important.
6) Eat as well as you can.
7) Don’t break the rules. I know, I know, if feels like if no one sees you out during your two hours, surely you can just have another 20minutes? But if everyone does that we will be in trouble. Oh, and it’s not like Weight Watchers or Slimming World where you get to carry over any unused 'points’ to the weekend so you can get drunk and spend the day on the beach (the drunk bit applies to diets, the beach to lockdown).
8) Keep in touch with everyone. Send a card to the parents and grandparents. My genuine hope from this, is that (whilst the WhatsApp and Zoom is great for seeing people face to face in the interim) we rediscover the art of letter writing and card sending. Anyone who follows me, knows I’m a big advocate of both, so do the thoughtful thing rather than a quick WhatsApp. It’s not as if you haven’t got the time…
Finally - and it’s more than a point 9, so it’s getting a paragraph all of its own - remember that the whole world is going through this together. At the same time. As someone who is approaching a big birthday and rightly having a small crisis associated with 4-0 (though that itself is being dwarfed by this somewhat wider crisis), I got chatting to the husband last night - another little side effect of this enforced time at home - and he said that this is like the whole world having a mid-life crisis at the same time. And hopefully what we’ll realise is that a fast car, or a new job isn’t what will fix things (ditto a fringe), but that we’re OK if we sort ourselves out and try and move forwards together. I’m not suggesting for a second this is a small ask, but you know, it’s worth bearing in mind. So my totally unsolicited advice to you, would be to focus on the small stuff that IS in your control. Pick pretty flowers (even if they are technically weeds), and pop them in a vase; reconnect to writing actual physical letters that leave your hand aching; look up at the sky and marvel at how it looks without planes (which it’s totally OK to do whilst still dreaming of a holiday in the coming months and years). And know that you aren’t meant to get used to all this. It’s going to pass. But it’s also going to lead to changes.
Most of all though, stay safe…. at home.
Harriet x